Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
