I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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