so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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