If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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