the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I want her autograph on my taint
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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