Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
