I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
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my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
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I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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