I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
