she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if only i could text you this smell
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
