i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The struggles of a small town man whore
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
