If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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