your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
