just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize