i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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