My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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