Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
