Dual....:-)
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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