You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
