You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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