I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
