How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm just crazy horny about you
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
