I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
operation have a gay friend backfired
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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