i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My vagina is officially offended.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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