I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
