I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
