I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
