Someone shit on the floor
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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