CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
