I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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