Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
