i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
