Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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