last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize