He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
