It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
