Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just want to make out with him forever
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
