I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
