I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
