Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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