Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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