can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
