dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
