We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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