Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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