How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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