where am i from again
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
