you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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