i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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