Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
