Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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