why didn't you poke me back
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
