I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
