I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
