big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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