that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
