Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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