Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize