i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
