Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.