I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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