Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So vagazzling was a success
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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