are you so shy because you have an std?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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