I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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