We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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