Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
