People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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