I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
